The Gift of Gratitude

 What is one single thing that can turn everything in life and with horses around? You got it, gratitude. What we focus on expands. The more things we find to be grateful for, the more things to be grateful for will happen in our lives. We also feel better when we focus on positive aspects than when we think about problems, stressors, and other thoughts that can take us into a negative spiral. Yes, bad things happen. But we can choose whether we dwell on them long-term, or whether we allow ourselves to feel the feelings attached then look for a better feeling thought.

Photo Credit: Mutt Love Photography

I keep a gratitude journal, which I write in before going to bed at night. Finding something to appreciate puts me into a positive frame of mind before going to sleep. Sometimes it is something obvious, such as something good that happened during my day. Other times it is a silver lining, or positive spin on something challenging that is going on in my life. Either way, I feel better going to sleep feeling good about something than I would feeling bad.

Sounds simple, right? It is simple…but it’s not always easy. When crappy things are happening in life, it can be extremely challenging to find positive aspects to the situation. Sometimes there aren’t any. In those moments, we may have to put our attention onto something else in our life to find something to be grateful for.

What about when we suffer a catastrophic loss, especially when it is unexpected and the horse is still young and healthy, such as to colic? When we lose a horse, it can be one of the most devastating things we ever go through in life. Part of our world comes to an end, and we might even feel like we cannot go on without them. Allowing ourselves to grieve and feel all the emotions that come with grief is an important part of the healing process. So, you ask, how are we supposed to find a silver lining in that? I don’t feel that we need to. When I lose a horse I love, I am never grateful for their loss. But I am always grateful to have had them in my life. What a gift it was to have had a connection so strong with a horse that we would experience such grief upon their passing.

Feeling gratitude for our horses daily is one of the greatest things we can give to them during their lifetimes. Appreciating them for who they are, and everything they do for us. Each ride they give us is truly a gift to be grateful for – even the bad ones. When I put Lacey back in her paddock or stall each day, I always thank her before telling her I love her and when I’ll be out to see her again. I feel it’s important to acknowledge that as much as she enjoys our partnership and doing things together, it is still an incredible thing to ask of her to follow my leadership and perform the tasks I request. It is an honour to get to work with her, and for her to be so generous as to share herself with me.

It's easy to be grateful for the good rides. When things are going well, we are excited and happy, and they feel that energy from us. Our gratitude flows easily through us to them, as we revel in the ecstasy of getting that flying change or clearing the 3’6 oxer. Where it takes work is when the ride didn’t go so well. Those are the days that we must consciously choose gratitude. Not every ride is fun or exciting. Sometimes things don’t go well, and we become frustrated or disappointed.

Just like myself, Lacey doesn’t always feel 100% in her body. Leading up to the last show, we were getting the best piaffe and passage we’d ever had. Then two days before the show, she suddenly was struggling to sit and when I’d ask for piaffe, she would just stall out. I had been psyched for the show because I thought we’d actually be able to perform the piaffe in our test, and we ended up getting zero to two half-hearted steps at most. I focused on riding the tests at the show to the best of her current ability and acing the things we could still do well. Of course, it was disappointing to get in the ring and not be able to show a proper piaffe, but that’s how things go sometimes. I was just incredibly grateful to Lacey for still trying her best, and that we made it to and through the I2 even with those setbacks.

When my chiropractor worked on Lacey the following week, it turned out her thoracic vertebrae were a bit stuck, so she was struggling to lift her back and sit. I had been pretty sure it was something physical, as she normally doesn’t hollow and stall out when asked to collect if she’s able to use her body properly. Those are the rides where it’s extra important to be grateful to our horse. When things are frustrating for us, chances are they’re also frustrating for our horse. These are the days they’d much rather stay in the field and not go to work, so I make an extra effort to be sure I properly thank Lacey for everything she does for me. Showing your horse appreciation for your relationship and their participation goes a long way towards making those tough days better for them as well as for us.

Gratitude truly is the gift that keeps on giving. I sincerely feel that everyone who has horses in their life has something amazing to be grateful for. They are such incredible beings, and I frequently marvel at how lucky I am to be able to ride and interact with horses, not to mention make it my career. The more things we find to be grateful for, the more we shift to a better feeling place. We are happier, our horses are happier, and things start to change in our lives and theirs.