Heart and Soul

We know why we love horses, but what’s in it for them? According to some animal rights activists, nothing. But anyone who has built a relationship with a horse knows that is not the case. Horses are herd animals, and they love to build relationships and work as a team.

Photo Credit: A Sharper Image Photography

Horses have this incredible ability to get in sync with one another. A herd of horses runs effortlessly as a whole, like a school of fish or a flock or birds. They operate through feel, tuning into their bodies and intuition. Learning to be in the present moment is one of the greatest things horses can teach us.

We gravitate toward horses because of this. Nothing compares to the feeling of an emotional connection with a horse. The partnership we can build with a horse is unlike any other. They also give us a sense of freedom, when we get to sit on their backs while they are running like the wind or soaring over jumps. We can do things on their four legs that we’d never be able to do on our own two feet.

I have vivid memories of my childhood with horses. Cantering bareback down the gravel road on my pony with my eyes closed; if I kept them closed long enough, it would feel like we were cantering backwards. Galloping my Arab bareback, feeling the surge of her muscles under my seat. Racing the train that ran through our hayfield, waving at the conductor from my pony’s back. These memories are decades old, yet I can still feel the sensations and emotions when I remember them.

Horses leave us these vivid memories, imprinting themselves in our hearts. What do we leave them? That really depends on the type of horsemanship we choose to embody. There is no doubt that we as humans can absolutely make a horse’s life worse if we are abusive, not empathetic, or don’t provide a safe environment. But I truly believe that if we choose kindness, empathy, patience, and connection, we are able to enrich our horses’ lives as much as they enrich ours.

Have you ever played with a horse at liberty? I’m not just referring to working a horse in a round pen, but rather going out and doing things with a horse without putting any equipment on to control them. I used to go run around my pony’s paddock with him, jumping makeshift crossrails. He would canter along behind me, often jumping the obstacles as well. We had so much fun playing together like this, and his participation was completely voluntary.

Horses love to connect, and they love to play. Have you heard the quote by Warren Buffet “When your work becomes your play and your play becomes your work, it doesn’t matter if you’re working or playing”? I have felt extremely fortunate for many years as a coach and trainer that this is my life. But it’s not just about us - the same goes for our horses. If we make the work that we ask them to do fun, it becomes play for them as well.

There is a lot of hype around clicker training and food rewards. These methods can absolutely work with some horses, and I have used them for certain personality types with great success. But I’ve found over the years that the horses who are the happiest are the ones who see their work with humans as play. They genuinely enjoy their jobs, and feel immense satisfaction when they’re good at them. They will try their hearts out for us, and love the partnership we have with them as much as we do.

So, how do we create that kind of relationship with our horses? How do we get them to put their heart and soul into their work, and genuinely enjoy it? First of all, by building a healthy relationship with them. Leadership, not dictatorship. Helping them to become confident in themselves, their work, and their ability to do the work. Going at their speed, making sure to build a solid foundation and an understanding of what’s being asked.

There will still be times when things aren’t fun or easy, but are necessary for their overall well-being. Going to the gym, physio, or a personal trainer isn’t always fun or easy, but we need to do these things for our own health and soundness. Likewise, there will be parts of every horse‘s training that aren’t always fun and sometimes feel hard, but we need to do them anyways to keep them sound, healthy, and happy long term.

When we enter these tougher phases, rewards are of the utmost importance. Praise, and the release of pressure, show the horse it’s worth doing the work. When training goes well, the hard work eventually becomes easier. Horses that are trained through appreciation and reward feel good about themselves. They start to thrive on challenges and take pride in their work.

I have worked with many horses that came from an abusive past who suffered thorough physical abuse, psychological abuse, or both. It can take years to repair the damage humans have done to these horses, and much of it can never be fully undone.

Sometimes their bodies are scarred for life, like one mare whom I had to spend many months with to halter train. She had been rescued from a place where she was roped, snubbed to a post, and beaten with a whip. Her body was permanently scarred from the whip, and her neck from the lariat. She was rightfully terrified of humans, so we took it extremely slow and worked on building her confidence and trust with short, weekly sessions, until she was comfortable being touched by my hands and the halter and lead rope.

I taught her to lead before I ever put the halter on her, working with her at liberty until she would join up and follow me. When a horse has been hurt to that extent by humans, it takes a long time to show them you mean no harm. You have to go at their pace, not yours, just like with any horse. But their pace will be a lot slower than a horse who hasn’t suffered human-induced trauma and abuse. She brought tears to my eyes many times, not just for the abuse she had suffered, but for her willingness to forgive and move past it, and connect with me, another human.

Horses are like elephants, they never forget. But what is truly amazing is their ability to forgive. The fact that they don’t forget makes their willingness to forgive even more incredible. It has been an absolute privilege to learn about forgiveness from these horses.

Some horses have been psychologically abused, but not physically. What I mean by this is, they haven’t been understood by humans, and their feelings and emotions about situations they were placed in were not observed or honoured. No one laid a whip to them, but psychological abuse can be equally traumatic for sensitive individuals.

We recognize the damage psychological abuse does to humans; we know that growing up with a verbally abusive parent, a neglectful parent, or a highly critical parent can scar a person emotionally. But we don’t always realize that animals are sensitive to these forms of abuse as well. Horses that are trained without compassion and empathy, or without understanding of their emotional and physical needs, can suffer psychological damage.

An example of this is the horse that spooks because it’s afraid and gets reprimanded by its handler. The reprimand need not be physically abusive, but if the horse is treated as though it’s spooking to be naughty instead of the handler understanding that the spook comes from a place of genuine fear, that horse will lose some confidence in humans.

There are horses out there that are clever and use spooking to evade work, but many are actually worried about something. If the handler doesn’t understand the difference and reprimands a scared horse in a negative manner, that horse will now be worried about the object it’s afraid of as well as the handler’s potential reaction.

Because horses don’t speak our language, we need to get really good at understanding theirs. So many “behavioural problems” are actually caused by humans misreading horses. A horse that gets constantly misunderstood will learn to mistrust humans. Less sensitive individuals just tune us out and don’t let it phase them; these types are often the blessed individuals used in lesson programs.

Highly sensitive horses, however, can become dangerous to themselves and/or people over time. They lean into their fight or flight instincts, and become bolters, kickers, buckers, biters, and rearers. The ones who internalize more will become aloof, unpredictably explosive out of “nowhere”, or develop vices such as cribbing. Similar to humans who have been abused and turn to drugs and alcohol to numb the pain, or lash out in anger at their friends and family.

Past trauma from psychological abuse in horses often goes unnoticed for what it is. The above-mentioned vices or behavioural issues aren’t always addressed at the root. Horses are good at masking their pain, since their survival in the wild depends on it - the weakest looking horse is the most likely to be picked off by predators.

Likewise, some of them are very stoic emotionally, and put up a wall to protect themselves from humans. They avoid connection because they lost trust in humans, or because humans never made the effort to connect with them, without demonstrating obvious outward behaviours. These horses go through their work without enjoyment; they do their jobs dutifully, often well, but they don’t love their work. It shows in the little things though, to someone who is tuned in to horses. Not being eager to be caught, aloof and distant emotionally in the cross ties, performing tasks without joy.

It saddens me greatly when I come across these horses, because they are missing out on the joy of connection and the pleasure they could take in their work. It can take time to draw them out of their shell, especially if they’ve never formed a bond with a human before.

What is even sadder is the horses that had a connection with humans early in life, then transferred hands to someone who did not honour or respect them as a sentient being. I worked with one gelding whose past experiences were such. He was a very sensitive, loving horse whose feelings had been deeply hurt when he went to a trainer who trained with pressure but not connection. He was one of the sweetest, most loving horses; he adored having his face stroked and burying it into your chest. But he had gone to a trainer who shook the end of the rope at his eye to get him to move, and he’d developed a great deal of anxiety around humans and equipment as a result. It took a long time to rebuild his confidence and trust in humans.

Whether a horse has withdrawn due to past abuse, or never learned it could connect with humans to begin with, either way it is missing out on having the joyful relationship with humans that it is capable of. Repairing those past traumas and helping with developing connections between people and horses are two of the most rewarding things I get to do in my line of work. Seeing a horse begin to trust their person and love their work is heartwarming.

We cannot undo past traumas, nor can we control how every person out there trains or handles horses. But what we can do is take the time to understand each horse that comes into our lives as an individual, learning their feelings, deciphering their past experiences, and treating them in the way they need to be treated. When we do that, we give them the gifts they give us: connection, harmony, partnership, and joy. Horses will truly give us their hearts and souls, if we give them ours.